Chapter Three

Well, the laundry got folded. Unfortunately, it was replaced by 3 more baskets of clean, unfolded laundry that are now sitting in front of me as we speak. (So much for "starting over"). I hope this time to be more successful than the last. I am also lagging behind on my blogging which is bothering me. I hope my laundry is not representative of my motivation to "start over." What a travesty that would be... Still the same, I want to get into the habit of journaling every day. I know I have a lot to say and a lot I am learning and a lot of questions that need answering which proves how much I need to do this for my sanity and for my growth and for a marker to go back and look and see how much progress I have made. I hope to notice some significant improvements (top on my list is reading my Bible and being a good parent). I did read my Bible after my last post, but unfortunately Chapter Three is so long after Chapter Two, I don't remember what I read. I am excited to start BSF (John) next week. It will force me to get into the Word and be more involved. I will also get a discussion group. Not that I need to be forced to read the Bible. I truly do enjoy it. I just don't remember it's vitality, as vital as bread. I also don't carve out the time. If I do have time, I just want to vegetate and not use my brain. I know I can do better, and I need God's help and the help of some good old-fashioned pride (have to finish for discussion group) to get me on my way. I saw Russell today to help with some computer file stuff. We had a good visit, and I am all the more confused as to what I am doing, deciding, and hoping to accomplish. I don't see another way out, and yet I can't seem to settle with what I am doing. What does that mean? God is not a god of confusion or chaos. He does not trick his children. So what gives? What is God's will for my life? Divorce/not to divorce, sell house/stay in house, talk to him/not talk to him, more visitation/less visitation, move on/not move on. I already have a headache... I suppose I should READ MY BIBLE to find out which direction God is leading. Pray...pray...pray...